I did a google search on Mary to find out if she was called as a peacemaker. I found a Wikipedia page about the Titles of Mary that were more numerous that I realized. The titles differ from early titles to devotional titles to those associated with images or apparitions. Yes, I did eventually find that in the Roman Catholic Church she has the title of Our Lady of Peace, Mother of Peace, Queen of Peace or Our Lady Queen of Peace. In this month of Mary, I wanted to talk to you about the Kelso’s Choice program we have introduced which believes that every child is capable of being a peacemaker.
Earlier in the year, we noticed that students were coming up to the adults on supervision to tell them about their problems and then the adult would solve the problem for the students. Our school counsellor, Miss Ann Elise, suggested Kelso’s Choice conflict management skills program to us which has been effectively used at various schools for over 25 years. We wanted students to Be Proactive (Habit 1) and solve their own problems and conflict. The philosophy of the program fits well with the 7 Habits as it believes that each child is smart enough and strong enough to resolve conflict.
When students are faced with conflicts, the first step for them is to decide if it is a small or a big problem. A big problem is one that they need adult help to solve and they can make students feel scared, worried or frightened. Examples of big problems are if someone is in danger, a student is hurt or some students are fighting. A small problem is one that students can solve on their own and they can make students feel annoyed, frustrated, embarrassed or have hurt feelings. Small problems may be the following: not sharing a toy or equipment, pushing or cutting in line, saying you are not out when tagged or arguing about which game to play. In order to solve the problem, Kelso has a Choice Wheel where students can try out a couple of choices to solve their conflict. If, after trying a couple of choices, the problem isn’t solved then the students can talk to an adult to help them solve it.
The choices on the wheel give both verbal and non verbal options and fit in with what we teach the students with the 7 Habits. The following are the choice the students can make to solve small problems.
Habit 1 Be Proactive: You’re in Charge
These choices remind students that they are free to choose their reactions and are responsible for themselves. We are asking students to choose to react like water not soda. If you shake up a water bottle then open it, nothing happens but if you do the same thing to soda, it will explode all over when the cap comes off. These choices help students act proactively like water.
- Tell Them to Stop
- Walk Away
- Ignore It
- Go to Another Game
- Wait and Cool Off
Habit 4 Think Win-Win: Everyone Can Win
These choices explore the ideas of fairness and mutual benefit. We are asking students to consider other people’s wins as well as their own. In using these choices, the students are trying to come up with solutions that benefit others as well as themselves. They are practicing and learning how to Lead with Love.
- Make a Deal
- Apologize
- Talk It Out
- Share and Take Turns
Currently only the Grades 1 and 2 students received the Kelso’s Choice lessons and have practicing the skills. Next year we are planning on teaching the skills to more grades in the school as we have seen success. Now, when students come up to us with concerns, the first thing we do is ask them if this is a big problem or a small problem. We help guide them through the process as needed instead of solving their problems. The website has a parent page with some information so that you can use the same language at home. You too can help them to learn to peacemakers at home.
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